the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
