apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
