He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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