She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
