Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
