Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize