Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
