can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
