low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
