pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
