I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
