That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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