i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
