My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
