god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
