He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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