But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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