he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize