I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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