I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
