WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
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