i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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