Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
