I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize