i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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