Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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