If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
