Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
