I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
