But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
