i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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