yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
