I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
