Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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