I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
