I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
