in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
