Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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