just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize