I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
