Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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