Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
