Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
