finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
