Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
