I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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