He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
