I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
