my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
