i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
