He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
