I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize