Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
