is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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