I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize