I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
