did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
