The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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