i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
