Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize