I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
