you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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