Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize